You would think that I would know where to start this one, after the last one ended at the perfect launching point.  But the truth is that the next few moments were so insane, they are difficult to explain.  I was at the point where JM was coming out of the gate and Zombie Mom and Zombie Son were coming down to meet me and tell me what a horrible person I was.  Actually, at this point, had she not raised Zombie Son, I would have felt very sorry for her for having this poor excuse for a human as her family.  As it was, she came down to tell me to put the dog on a leash, and her son started screaming obscenities about me to JM.  It is doubtful most decent people have ever heard the words that emerged from his mouth as he described me.  In fact, the only one that can be repeated here is that I was fat, a fattie, fat wife, fat see-you-next-tuesday-wife, etc.  As JM riled up at the more vitriolic phrases, I was still stuck on ‘fat’.  Obviously, all those other wordy-dirds were much more acceptable to me than calling a lady ‘Fat!’  How dare he?!  Meanwhile, as I stood there in shock over my weight being called into question, JM and Zombie were in each other’s faces.  I stood by proud as JM refused to touch him first, 10+ years in law enforcement will often create certain aggressions, but it also teaches restraint.  His restraint even stood as the Zombie spat his Zombie spittal on JM.  Other than the bodily fluid (which, as it turns out, is assault in MD), they refrained from exchanging blows on the Tantallon property.  Which is really good since that guy was REALLY FAT.

We went back to the boat and called the cops and our captain.  At this point we had two priorities, move out to live with decent people sooner than expected, and see what protection we had from the Zombies.